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Intercourse positivity (which means that intercourse, so long as it’s wholesome and really consensual, is an effective factor) is one thing I take into consideration lots. Possibly not as a lot as physique positivity, or busting diet tradition, or, you realize, tacos — however, nicely, I’m within the midst of writing a romance novel, and as I’ve delved additional and additional into that world, I’ve change into much more conscious of how intercourse and self-confidence and feminism intersect.

I’ve additionally realized how typically love scenes both a) use humor as a automobile to indicate a personality making secure intercourse a precedence, b) make the consent and a condom portion of the scene seem to be a clunky afterthought, or c) skip over it solely. Just a few authors appear to grasp the significance of balancing a steamy scene with some practicality (Jasmine Guillory, one in all my favorites, is nice at it — and takes it significantly), but it surely’s removed from a given.

Now, whereas the particular issues that flip us all on are inherently private (and, look, so long as it’s secure and consensual, you gained’t hear any judgement from these components), there’s one thing that many ladies — in accordance with one research, 90 % of them — discover to be efficient foreplay, and that method is known as “framing” or “state of affairs conjuring.” So, mainly, fascinated with eventualities that we discover horny or recalling an excellent sizzling reminiscence is an effective way for a lot of ladies to get themselves within the temper.

That’s the place Dipsea, an attractive audio tales app (subscriptions are $8.99/month or $47.99/yr), is available in.

“Proof is rising that many ladies expertise ‘responsive’ vs. ‘spontaneous’ need, which implies their need emerges solely in a secure, comfy, extremely erotic context,” says Dipsea’s co-founder and CEO, Gina Gutierrez. “At Dipsea we create that context with immersive audio storytelling. As we design tales, we take into account characters’ psychological security, and create settings and tales which can be actually erotic. We create a ‘place’ folks can go to faucet right into a extra erotic frame of mind.”

Gutierrez and her good friend and co-founder Faye Keegan noticed a possibility when speaking with their associates about intercourse — a lot of them talked about that they loved content material designed to get them aroused, however had a tough time discovering high-quality content material. With the rising reputation of podcasts, the duo realized they might provide folks like themselves and their associates one thing particular — one thing that wasn’t simply designed as a method to an finish, however one thing that might be used to get in a flirtier frame of mind earlier than a date, or to really feel extra empowered and alive when heading out with associates, or maybe to really feel extra linked to a companion.

Along with horny tales, that are sorted into a number of classes to make discovering what you’re searching for straightforward, like warmth degree, length, feminine or male voice lead, and, in fact, who’s concerned (her + him, her + her, her + her + him, solo …), Dipsea additionally has choices to type for companion listening, guided meditations, and extra.

After taking part in round with the app for some time, I’ve a number of observations to share (and don’t fear — I’m not going to get too private on you right here).

Dipsea Takeaways

Execs: The app is simple to make use of, modern and stylish wanting, and there’s selection to cater to lots of preferences. It’s discrete, and with three new tales added weekly, you’re unlikely to expire of content material.

Additionally, the standard is value noting — the writing and the soundscapes themselves make it fairly straightforward to lose your self within the story. The guided meditations are all led by consultants in intercourse, relationship and wellness, too, so these are very nicely carried out. Plus, you understand how I discussed that it’s not a given {that a} intercourse scene makes consent and security a precedence? Each Dipsea story is feminist and inclusive and does a terrific job of all that.

Cons: I’ve all the time been extra of a reader than a listener, so, I’ll be trustworthy in saying that this takes some getting used to. Seems, there’s a distinction between studying about characters getting all horny in a e book by way of a third-person narrative with dialogue (so that you simply perceive what’s occurring by way of a narrator and what the characters are saying to one another) and listening to a extra first-person account (the case with many of the tales that I listened to) the place you’re not essentially given a play-by-play of each motion the characters take, however as a substitute you hear the sounds of the characters in motion and wish to make use of your creativeness. It felt a bit extra voyeur-y than I had anticipated, and whereas I wouldn’t have an issue studying a romance novel with a excessive warmth degree in public, I feel it will be onerous for me to take heed to this whereas out and about. (That clearly doesn’t appear to be the case for lots of people based mostly on critiques, although, so that you would possibly need to disregard this previous crone’s explicit hang-ups — which you are able to do as you flip down your rock music and get off my garden.)

And right here’s a tip straight from me to you: When you’ve got a automotive with Bluetooth that robotically picks up wherever you left off listening in your cellphone, you would possibly need to make some extent to shut out of the app or change over to one thing else earlier than you flip the important thing — or your passenger goes to get to know you a little bit higher fairly rapidly.

Is framing a method you’ve used to get within the temper — whether or not you knew it had a reputation or not? —Kristen